Zac Efron recaputres his teens. . .getting caught having a cheeky tug

Remember that time when your mum walked in on you having some ‘alone time’  back in the days when you were bashing one out more regularly than brushing your teeth? Thought that was as embarrassing as it got? Nope, it appears it can get a lot worse, as Zac Efron has found out for himself.

Thanks to the power of Twitter, half the world has now seen the High School Musical star petting his very own Wildcat after pictures began circulating on the social networking site. Poor sod.

Zac thought he'd make the perfect Cheggers replacement on the revived version of 'Naked Jungle'

Zac can’t be blamed for indulging in choking the one eyed snake though. If we had a movie career that was as shit as his and were dumped by someone as stupidly hot as Vanessa Hudgens, we’d probably solace with our old pal Tommy Tank (ok, we admit we’ve been spending too much time on Urban Dictionary of late).

But if it’s anything we learned in our teens, it’s not to get caught – let alone manage to let someone get a picture of it.

But some eagle-eyed tweeters/pervs who have spent too long staring at Zefron’s cock, have claimed that the picture is a fake, making Zac the latest celebrity to be embroiled in a fake nude-picture scandal, along with Blake Lively and Selena Gomez.

They say that the snap was created by a Photoshop whizzkid, using a photo from Zac in the film Charlie St. Cloud, as this shows:

We knew that Zac could never be that interesting

Then again, Zac’s ex, Vannessa Hudgens, famously leaked pictures of her with her whaps out  and it did wonders for her career. Maybe Zac is trying to prove he’s just like, totally edgy.

The X Factor judges’ houses mentors revealed! . . . Sort of

There is nothing we like more on a Sunday morning than to pour over a little bit of X Factor speculation as we chow down on our Sugar Puffs. And we were in for a bit of an extra special treat this morning as two papers have revealed which celebs will be helping Gary, Tulisa, Kelly and Louis at their Judges’ Houses.

Only problem is the papers both say different things. Dang.

According to The Sunday Mirror, Tulisa Con-what’s her chops, will be joined by none other than Tinie Tempah at a villa in Ibiza. Meanwhile The Star On Sunday claims that we will see a sensational return from Cheryl Cole – as Tulisa and Chez are new BFFs appaz – and the ex-judge will join the NDub at her grandma’s house in Greece.

Looks like Tinie will have to Fight off competition from Cheryl if he wants to help Tulisa

Now, as much as we would love to see Chez make a dramatic re-entrance, we can see it ourseleves – besides, isn’t she meant to be doing The Voice or something? But fair is fair, Tinie would be a pretty good consolation.

Over at Kelly Rowland’s pad, we should expect to see Michelle Williams (you remember her, she was the background one in Destiny’s Child? She did Strictly last year? Oh, nevermind) help her sort the singing wheat from the chaff, say The Mirror. But The Star are reporting what everyone wants to hear – that Beyonce has agreed to help out her old chum.

To the left, to the left. Make the right choice and pick the girl to the left. Beyonce, Kelly and Michelle

It must be terrible for Kelly – she must feel like she’s picking between her children. But just a word of advice Kelly, if you don’t pick your best child and pick Beyonce, we’ll be calling for your resignation a la Rebekah Brooks. Everyone knows it’s the sole the reason you were hired.

So we all pretty much know that Louis’ lucky bunch will be off to the exotic location of, you guessed it, Ireland, and vying to help him out are ex contestants JLS and Jedward (LOL). But The Mirror claims that he’ll call upon old friend and the First Lady of The X Factor, Sharon Osbourne once again.

Looks like Westlife and Boyzone have fallen out of favour with LouLou then

We’re praying this isn’t just a rumour ‘cos we’re dying for Shazza to inject a little bit of matriarchal drama that the show so desperately misses since she left (she should have been on speed dial the minute Dannii announced she was quitting).

However, one thing we can be pretty certain of is one of Take That will be joining Gary Barlow to help him select his finalists – it’s the only bloody thing the two papers agree on! The Mirror claims that the acts will be jetting out to Robbie’s house in LA to be put through their paces.

Which member of TT will Gary make Happy Now by asking them to join him at Judges Houses?

It’s all a wee bit exciting isn’t it – just a shame we’ve got to wait fuppin’ ages to see it all.

Joey Essex launches clothing range, the fashion world braces itself

Less of a reem, more of a nightmare. Joey Essex turns fashion designer

Oh Jesus. He may have had his single blocked by the producers of The Only Way Is Essex, but Joey Essex has not let that stop his ‘creative’ juices flowing.

The loveable plonker is launching his own fashion range at Selfridges and is calling it… Wait for it… You’ll never guess… Not in a million years… Ok maybe you will, REEM.

But before you start imagining yourself in Joey branded skintight jeggings and orange ugg boots that are two sizes too small, it looks like he’s playing it much safer than that.

Joey has designed a range of hoodies and T-shirts carrying his ‘Look Reem, Smell Reem, Be Reem’ slogan. Bet it took him a while to come up with that concept.

The range launches online today and will hit shelves tomorrow, and Joey is hoping that this is just the start of his *ahem* fashion career.

“Joey can’t believe his clothes are being sold at Selfridges,” a source told The Sun. “Joey’s going to make a packet, he thinks it could be the start of something big.”

Dolce and Gabbana, Jimmy Choo, Joey Essex – we can’t wait to see this collection in London, Paris and Milan… Hmm, maybe he’ll have to get Gemma to help him out with that one.

Listen to Joey’s single ‘Reem’:

GUEST POST: My, Neville Longbottom, haven’t you grown!

By Heledd Williams

WINGARDIUM SEXY-OSA! Looks like Neville’s been hit with a hot-ifying spell…

Gone is the cute, festively plump wizard that first graced our cinema screens ten years ago, and in his place is a rather dashing young actor by the name of Matthew Lewis.

Lewis, who played the part of Neville Longbottom in all eight Harry Potter films, couldn’t have looked more different to his alter-ego when he appeared at the New York premiere of the final HP film on Monday.

What wizarding madness is this? Neville Longbottom's all grown up!

Suited and booted, Lewis looked strapping in his sharp black attire and towered above co-stars Daniel Radcliffe and Rupert Grint (who’s the hunky wizard now, eh? EH? That’s right, NEV-DAWG.)

Err, anyway, according to the Daily Mail, to become Neville, Lewis was reportedly made to wear yellow false teeth, shoes two sizes too big and prosthetics behind his ears to make them stick out more. Probably explains the dramatic change of appearance, then.

Possibly the most heart-breaking picture of all time.

Still though, we here at Celeb Dump have been left stupified at the transformation that’s taken place… Anyone have Neville’s, I mean, Matthew’s number?

Oh wait, he has a girlf, and she’s mega hot too.  We are sooo JEL-iarmus right now!

Matthew with girflriend Sinead Husband. We are well jel.

Joe McElderry has landed a new record deal. . . At least Mum will be pleased

It all went a bit Pete Tong for Gerodie Joe after winning The X Factor in 2009. After his third single ‘Someone Wake Me Up’ bombed at 68 in the charts and his debut album sold less than 100,000 copies, he soon found himself on the Syco scrapheap along with Leon Jackson and Steve Brookstein.

And of course, like any washed up celebrity, an inevitable profile-boosting appearance on a reality TV show followed, but Joe has landed on his feet with the news that he has signed a six figure deal with label Universal.

The Popstar To Operastar winner has apparently been helped out by his old pal Cheryl Cole to land the new deal, and is to release a new album containing ‘a collection of classic songs’ – that’s industry speak for covers then – which is to be rush released in time for the new series of X Factor in August.

Hmm, it sounds like it’s going to be one of dire albums that X Factor winners used to release back in the day. You know, the sort that your Mum loved and used to play on loop in the car because it had all the songs from her yoof on it.

It’s a far cry from the talk at the beginning of his career that he was set to be the next big Disney star and the UK’s version of Zac Efron.

Joe’s a nice enough chap, but we can’t help but think he was dropped for a reason – we’ve always said Joe would make a much better West End star. Olly Murs must be looking at all of this and having a little chuckle to himself.

Watch Joe win The X Factor 2009:

Oo err, Cat Deeley has been nominated for a fancypants US TV Award

The Cat that's nearly got the cream... Cat Deeley

We always like to hear of Brits doing well for themselves over the other side of the Atlantic, and Cat Deeley has just got one massive seal of approval from our American pals.

The star, who has been out in the US since she finished presenting Stars In Their Eyes (remember that?!) back in 2006, has been nominated for a prestigious Emmy Award for presenting So You Think You Can Dance?

While the UK version may have been the biggest TV flop since Britannia High, over in the States the yanks can’t get enough of it, with the eighth season currently airing. And they seem to love Cat too.

Cat has been nominated for Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Programme, alongside the host of the US version of Strictly and a certain chap called Ryan Seacrest? He hosts some kind of singing competition apparently. We wonder if next year’s round of nominations will see Steve Jones receive a nod…?

We’ve got everything crossed for Cat. After all, to us she will always be Cat The Dog from SM:TV Live.

Gaga is in wheely big trouble this time

Something tells us she wasn't quite born this way... Lady GaGa in her wheelchair

She’s appeared on stage pregnant, in a coffin and covered in blood after ‘stabbing’ herself.  And GaGa’s up to her old tricks again after she performed in a wheel chair at a gig in Sydney – a gimmick she used in her video for ‘Paparazzi’.

Lady G was performing album track ‘You and I’ in the chair, whilst dressed as a mermaid, as you do. And it seems she’s upset another official body, for a change, with various disability groups slamming Gaags for using the chair.

Jesse Billauer, Founder of America’s Life Rolls On Foundation, criticised her latest attempts to shock her fans:

“Since this isn’t the first time she has used a wheelchair in her performances, I invite her to learn more about the 5.6million Americans who live with paralysis. They, like me, unfortunately, don’t use a wheelchair for shock value.

“I extend a personal invitation to Lady GaGa to attend one of our Life Rolls On events where quadriplegics and paraplegics surf, skate, and snowboard, so she can see how much is possible beyond a wheelchair.”

Oh dear, it all seems a bit serious to us. Maybe she’s gone too far this time? But then again, she’ll probably have some artsy-bullshit explanation for the gaffe – one that we all fail to understand the real meaning behind yet still hang on every damn word, and then we’ll forgive her. Because that’s what GaGa does.

Watch Lady GaGa’s ‘Paparazzi’ video:

OMFG! The X Factor USA preview is here and it is a little bit good!

What is it that they say? Anything we can do the American’s can do better? Well here is confirmation that is exactly the case as far as The X Factor is concerned.

It’s far to say that since Chezza’s rather unceremonious sacking we’ve not been quite as excited about the debut of the reality juggernaught as we perhaps should have been -  that’s probably because we are still not quite over the Pussycat Troll duping Cheryl out of her rightful place on the panel.

But boy has this trailer changed things!

This two minute teaser trailer, which aired in the States during the Major League Baseball All Star Game on Tuesday night, sees Simon make a dig at his former show American Idol, dreaming his absolute X Factor nightmare – ironic really, when there is a real life X Factor nightmare in the shape of the UK panel line-up, but nevermind.

After waking up in a cold sweat, gone is the pink cable knit and instead it’s business as usual. Cue expensive cars, private jets and a shit load of pouting.

“What else did you expect?” Oh Simon, how we lol’d.

We also get our first glimpse of the auditions themselves, and it seems there’s everything a true X Factor fan could wish for – Simon’s razor sharp wit, tears from Nicole, and a strop from Paula involving the throwing of liquid a la Sharon Osbourne, circa 2005. We can barely contain our excitement! Tulsia et al are going to have to pull something seriously massive out of the bag if they are going to compete with this.

One thing we did notice though is that Cheryl seems to have been completely airburshed out of X Factor USA history. Ouch. Talk about adding insult to injury.

The X Factor USA premieres September, 21 on FOX.